Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in elhombredejota's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, March 31st, 2012
11:52 pm	This is a thing... ...involving [a whole lot of frustration over people not being able to laugh at themselves.] Current Mood: mischievous (7 Comments |Comment on this)
11:48 pm	HvZ Invitational 2: Infected Boogaloo Checklist: Survive first mission: Check. --Survive second, third, & fourth missions: Check. Be credit to team: Check. Die by being outrun, not outsmarted: Check. Kill a human: Not sure. (The person I tagged may've been slow-reacting to another tag already.) Only real complaint: Ben Eggering getting in my face making crap up about me including quoting me as saying words I never EVER say. I think I can do one more. :) Current Mood: chipper (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 28th, 2012
1:33 pm	J.MANwulf vs. Grendel’s Mother I’ll start with the part that was my fault. I was supposed to finish graduate school over a year before I did.  In the spring of 2010, I was enrolled for my last few classes, & for the first time, enrolled in my research credit, which had been explained to me as mandatory for every semester after my internship was done (the internship being done in the fall of 2009).  Since I had a full load of work-intensive classes & a severe case of fatigue, though, I had no intention of completing my research in that spring semester, despite the assumption of my advisor, Dr. Susan LaGrassa, that I would.  That I didn’t graduate in spring of 2010 was my responsibility, but really no one’s “fault,” since it was a conscious decision, not a mistake. In the summer of 2010, though, I had no classes, & I was in Kirksville, away from work (save for a few trips home here & there).  I was enrolled in the research credit for the second semester; this was a normal & fairly common occurrence.  But I got lazy.  Despite finishing first drafts of almost everything—research summary, reflections, & unit plan—all I really submitted was one draft of the research summary, which needed heavy revisions.  I did one massive revision of that research summary, but it still wasn’t done yet.  Summer ended, my sublease ended, & I had to enroll again for the fall.  That I didn’t graduate in summer of 2010 was my fault. In the fall of 2010, once I had gotten my brother moved into college & myself settled back into work, I began submitting my drafts again.  In late October, my research supervisor, Dr. James Guffey, asked for a meeting with me in-person to discuss things.  I erroneously thought the meeting was to finalize my portfolio.  I found a couple open days in my schedule in early November & made the appointment.  When I got to Kirksville, Dr. Guffey told me that I was actually going to have to redo everything from square one.  The way he explained it, though, was such that I believed he was simply asking me to enroll for another semester so he would have time to look over everything.  That I misunderstood was my fault.  Unfortunately, since I thought I understood, it didn’t occur to me to explain that I didn’t understand.  So here I was thinking I was being expected to pay another $300 just to wait around for him to evaluate stuff that I had already written.  This didn’t sit right with me, so I tried emailing Dr. LaGrassa for permission to enroll for a 0-hour credit, which would only cost about $30 in fees.  She rather angrily denied my request.  Since I didn’t fully understand the situation, but thought that I did, I took some bad advice from my father & went over her head.  Since she was the chair of the Math department & the person in charge of the Math MAE program, I thought “over her head” was the Graduate Office.  So I went there & explained my situation (as I understood it) to secretary Doris Snyder, asking her to get me an audience with Graduate Dean Dr. Maria Di Stefano.  Doris, who had always been very good to me, agreed to do so.  That I gave her mistaken information was my fault, even though at the time I thought the information was correct.  And that I did not graduate in fall of 2010 was also my fault. Now it’s time for the part that wasn’t my fault. Even though I had NOT asked her to do so, Doris attempted to created a 0-hour Math research credit for me anyhow, without informing me that she had done so.  When LaGrassa found out, she charged me with a disciplinary violation, sending a letter demanding that I make an appointment to see her, but not specifying what my violation was.  I had been back home from my meeting with Guffey for a week already, with no days off work in sight until after Thanksgiving.  When I called Guffey to find out what my charge was, he refused to tell me until we met in person.  When I called LaGrassa’s office, her secretary was unable to tell me (because the secretary didn’t know either), & couldn’t get LaGrassa herself on the phone to tell me either.  I was also then informed that it would be in my “best interest” to make the appointment before Thanksgiving instead of after.  So I reluctantly gave up a work shift to clear a day for a trip to Kirksville.  That I was being forced to walk into a trial unprepared was NOT my fault, & I knew it. LaGrassa & Guffey both seemed surprised when they found out I didn’t live in Kirksville anymore, even though a 30-second search of the student directory would have told them as much.  (Seriously, in all my time at Truman, I was the only person I knew who ever used the student directory to find people.)  Eventually, they informed me that I had been cited for violating the clause of the Conduct Code forbidding students from prompting University staff to action or inaction via false information, whether knowingly or not.  Since the rule explicitly covered accidental false info, like I had given, I was technically guilty, even though I had not wanted Doris to take the action she took.  Throughout the meeting, however, despite my confessing to my actual violation, LaGrassa continuously attempted to get me to admit I had knowingly lied to Doris, at one point threatening worsened consequences if I kept refusing to do so.  Only 3 things immediately trigger my rage: Threatening those I care about, intentionally lying to/about me, & accusing me of intentionally lying.  Being demanded to lie about lying was NOT my fault. Eventually cooler heads (read: “my mother, who came up to Kirksville with me”) won out, & I was allowed to accept guilt for the situation without agreeing to LaGrassa’s incorrect version of events.  We then established my contract for the completion of my research portfolio, starting back at the beginning.  I put a clause in the portfolio stating that I was to return things within 3 days of receiving them.  For 3 months, this was no problem, & completed almost half of the portfolio, sometimes sacrificing sleep & cancelling other plans to make submissions on time, once even fighting a persistent TruView glitch which prevented one of my submissions from going through.  Then the last week of February 2011 happened.  Guffey was heading out of town for a week, just before which, I established my intention to begin working on 2 reflections at a time, in order to increase the chances of finishing in the spring.  While he was gone, I sent in 2 reflection drafts, with 3 days staggered between them to indicate that I intended the pieces to be returned staggered as well.  Also, every day for over a week, I was called into cover other people’s shifts at work.  I began going to bed a little earlier each night, but the calls came earlier & earlier each morning as well.  Unless one expects me to go to bed immediately after coming home from work, my mounting sleep deprivation was NOT my fault.  Then, on Wednesday, February 23rd, 2010, I came home from work, checked my email, found still nothing from Guffey yet, & went to bed exhausted.  The next day, Thursday, February 24th, I awoke in the late morning, checked my TruView email again and found that Guffey had finally responded.  In fact, he had returned both of my drafts at the same time, exactly the outcome I had hoped to avoid.  I was then called in to work early once again.  Since the emails had not arrived by evening on the 23rd and Dr. Guffey had a habit of returning emails by early evening, I logically presumed that he had sent them on the morning of the 24th.  (In hindsight, I realized another TruView error had occurred.  The failure of the TruView Gmail system was NOT my fault.) With my work schedule keeping me from healthy rest and with a provision in my contract requiring me to send only my best work, I decided to wait and get some sleep Friday night so that I would be able to think clearly and submit my best work on Saturday, February 26th, which I believed at the time to be only my second day with the newest return, not the third day.  On Saturday the 26th, I was able to revise and return the draft of what we’ll call Revision A before I had to leave for my scheduled work hours that day.  I mentioned in the email to Guffey, though, that “Revision B” would take a while longer (to keep our verbal agreement that some leeway could be given if I notified him in advance).  I did not realize how much longer at the time, though… I came home from work that night to find our power out.  With no electricity, I had no modem.  With a weak laptop battery, I had no time to produce quality work anyway.  With the time being so late, I had no open libraries at which to work.  I went to bed to keep my health in line since I knew I had yet another early start the next day.  I did not call Guffey, as LaGrassa later insisted I should have, for three reasons: One, he would not get a message on his office phone until Monday anyhow.  Two, I did not wish to wake him by calling his house so late at night.  Three, as mentioned before, I thought I was still on my second day, so it was not a critical moment anyway from my perspective.  The power going out was NOT my fault. On Sunday, February 27th, I woke up and immediately prepared for and left for work, expecting to finish Revision B in the evening.  Unfortunately, I arrived home after 6:00 PM in a torrential downpour with lightning approaching and entered my house to find the power off yet again and my parents in the basement with emergency supplies.  We had pre-tornado conditions, and my mother’s policy is to shut the electricity off immediately under such conditions to protect our electronics from power surges.  Furthermore, even if I was insane enough to go back out and drive again after barely making it home safely, the St. Louis libraries were all closed by that time on Sunday evening anyhow.  LaGrassa later informed me that the almanac showed no storms in St. Louis until 7:00 PM on the 27th.  The electricity and water falling from the sky told me otherwise.  The weather is NOT my fault.  (Nor is it George Bush’s fault, but try telling that to Kanye West.) We stayed awake in the basement through the thunderstorm and tornadoes, trying to pick up news on a transistor radio until the all-clear siren was sounded well after midnight and my mother allowed us to turn the power back on.  (Before you ask why I didn’t just turn the power back on myself right away to do my work, ask LaGrassa what happens when one tries to argue with a Sicilian matriarch.)  Once the storm had lifted, I got right to work and sent Revision B that Sunday night.  Even against that nearly-week-long “perfect storm”, both literally and figuratively, of problems, I still got my draft returned on what I thought at the time to be the third day.  The next day, Monday, February 28th, Guffey sent back both drafts at the same time again.  Nowhere did he mention anything about my submission time being in dispute.  In the following couple days, though, I was able to get right back on track, returning the Revision A again—which Guffey has said would now be complete—the very next day on March 1st, and returning Revision B again the following night of March 2nd, again intentionally staggering the submissions in the hope that he would do the same, although I did not want to seem demanding by making such a request directly.  Personally, I don’t think being raised to be tactful is my fault, but some might disagree. So I was completely blindsided on the afternoon of Thursday, March 3rd, when I received LaGrassa’s emailed notice that I had missed a deadline and that she was failing me on all instances of the research course.  To add insult to injury, the official reason cited in her letter used the “Grades Below Average” policy, mentioning that I would now have more than six hours credit at a “C” or below, rather than the more direct and logical “Repeat Courses” policy, which would remove me from the MAE program without the tenuous involvement of my past courses.  In her letter, LaGrassa also insinuated that I may have been subjectively in contract violation for not contacting Guffey regularly, even though I had been responding to him even more frequently than he to me; indeed, the only reason I ceased making phone calls with every receipt and submission of material was that he told me directly, both on the phone and via email, that the phone calls were unnecessary.  LaGrassa also insinuated that I may have been subjectively in contract violation for not turning in my best work, a completely unfounded accusation which should be discredited on the basis of my waiting until I could do my best work to make submissions.  When I responded to her email to protest the decision, LaGrassa then implicitly accused me of lying yet again in a spiteful response; see the above comments about the weather almanac.  She also attacked me for not immediately warning Dr. Guffey about my late Revision B submission, although I did so in the Revision A email on February 26th, which she conveniently neglected to include along with the copy of our Revision B email chain sent with my notification letter.  That LaGrassa knowingly withheld information about my late submission from me (allowing me to keep working under the false pretense that nothing was wrong), had me removed from the MAE program under a justification which could only be applied to me & not anyone else in a similar circumstance (in a letter peppered with subtle insults), attacked my honesty yet again upon my appeal to her (even if I had actually lied the first time, certainly I am not stupid enough to attempt it again), & demonstrated a suspiciously selective memory regarding my actions was NOT my fault. She also tried to dissuade me from filing a grade change appeal: “I have submitted the change of grade forms for the previous semesters, and you can consider this correspondence my formal denial of your appeal. […] You should in particular note the portion of the policy that states, "The instructor's grade shall not be changed unless there is clear and convincing evidence that the grade was determined in an unreasonable manner or in violation of some other established ethical or legal rule.  Instructors are entitled to the widest range of discretion in making judgments about academic performance.’”  I did so anyway, sending a 4-page letter along with the appeal form and all of the evidence I could remember to gather to Dr. Paul Yoder, chair of the Education department, & the person I should have gone to last November instead of Dr. Di Stefano.  In an email, I also told Yoder that if he needed any more information than what I’d already supplied, all he needed to do was ask & I would gladly provide it.  Nearly a full month later, I finally heard back from Yoder; his answer was no.  So I took it to the next level, the Dean of Health Sciences & Education, Dr. Sam Minner.  (This was difficult, because Yoder burned a week of my time evading the question of how to send the materials I’d given him to Minner.  That Yoder intentionally held me up was NOT my fault.)  Minner only had my materials for a week before responding; he said that if I could send him proof on company letterhead that I’d had the power outage, it would help my case.  So I went to the Ameren UE offices & asked for such a letter.  I was informed that they would not give out anything on company letterhead to settle a private dispute.  A security guard suggested that I look up their letterhead online & write my own statement.  When I informed Minner of this & asked if there was some other acceptable form of proof, he said that a notarized letter from my parents would do.  The next day, my father & I went to the bank, got a letter notarized, & sent it in.  A couple weeks later, it was time for Spring Commencement, & I was in Kirksville again.  The day before the ceremony, I emailed Minner asking if it would be appropriate for me to walk without his decision yet.  He did not respond until the morning OF the ceremony to tell me not to.  Then, a few days after commencement, he finally sent me his decision; based on my initial evidence & the statements of LaGrassa & Guffey (in other words, he hadn’t even looked at my father’s letter), his answer was no.  That Minner directly lied to me was NOT my fault.  And that I did not graduate in the spring of 2011 was also NOT my fault. To Minner’s credit, he sent my appeal along to the final level right away after I asked, instead of dragging his feet like Yoder did.  Now my final academic fate was in the hands of Dr. Di Stefano and Provost Richard Coughlin.  I asked them if I should enroll in a 0-credit research course for the summer to keep the continuous-enrollment requirement of the MAE program, but they told me it wasn’t necessary for summers.  It took 5 more weeks to get their final decision.  In late June, they finally got back to me; the answer was…“kinda.”  My F grades would not be changed (this would only hurt me if I wanted to go get a doctorate somewhere, but I don’t), but I would be allowed to enroll in one more semester of research credit for the fall & be allowed to complete the portfolio & then graduate.  Furthermore, I would now be submitting work directly to Yoder instead of LaGrassa & Guffey.  Yoder, for his part, gladly set me up for the new online portfolio system & told me not to enroll until the fall so I wouldn’t have to pay for a summer I would only be getting half of.  That I did not graduate in the summer of 2011 was NOT my fault. Once the fall semester started, I began right where I left off.  Over a span of about 2 months, I completed the rest of the portfolio to Yoder’s level of approval.  It’s worth noting that this amount of time would have gotten me done by the end of April if LaGrassa had never tried to boot me out in the first place.  In the fall of 2011, I finally graduated, despite the best efforts of a spiteful advisor, a spineless professor, & a lying dean.  My name is Joseph Louis Puricelli, & I am a Master of Arts in Education. Now to get a full-time job so I can pay off these dang student loans…. Current Mood: satisfied (Comment on this)
Monday, January 9th, 2012
6:06 pm	Project Update 2012 Actingwise: --Last winter I was an extra in a TV pilot called "Ultra Guys" that apparently never went anywhere.  --Last week, I got some headshots taken, & I'll be looking for legitimate auditions soon. Writingwise: --I've completed 3 scripts (adaptations of the first 3 arcs of Darths & Droids) for staged readings --I added another song to Albuquirky. --Bits & pieces of other projects have been added, including outlines for one-acts and bits of a miniseries based on Mother. Musicwise: --In the past 13 months, I have written no fewer than 13 new songs, including an awesome parody of "Firework". --I've started playing open mics at Al Waha on south Grand twice a month. Come check it out! --My trusty old Jew's harp snapped last week. :( I have a couple of backups, but neither sounds quite the same. I'll be trying to adapt in the coming days & weeks. Current Mood: artistic (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 3rd, 2012
3:40 am	Do-Not-Elect List 2012 INTRODUCTION: The following is a list of recent bills which have passed or are currently passing through the United States Congress in 2011-2012 that violate the Constitution of the United States of America: NDAA = National Defense Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2012 (authorizing the indefinite detention without trial or charge of US citizens) SOPA = Stop Online Piracy Act (which will not stop online piracy, but will stop much legal speech-sharing)* PIP = Protect IP (similar to SOPA)* PAT = “Patriot” Act extension** PART 1a: The following is a list of US Senators who need to be voted out of office in 2012 for supporting the aforementioned illegal laws.  This list is organized alphabetically by state, and then by last name.  After each name is the Senator’s party, followed by the offending laws which he or she supported: ( These 32 Senators need to lose their jobs this year. ) PART 1b: The following is a list of US Senators who are not up for re-election in 2012, but need to be voted out of office at the first available opportunity for supporting the aforementioned illegal laws.  The list is organized alphabetically by state, and then by last name.  After each name is the Senator’s party, the offending laws which he or she supported, and the year of their next term-ending election: ( These 62-63 Senators need to lose their jobs in 2014 & 2016. ) PART 2: The following links go to web pages listing the voting results for NDAA and PAT in the House of Representatives, as well as the US Representatives currently cosponsoring SOPA.  On the first two links, every Representative’s vote is listed, supporters in blue, opponents in red, abstentions in gray. ( Over 300 Representatives need to lose their jobs this year. ) PART 3: The following is a list of current candidates—as of the January 3rd Iowa Caucus—for the Presidency of the United States who need to be voted against in 2012 for supporting the aforementioned illegal laws.***  This list is organized alphabetically by last name.  After each name is the candidate’s party, followed by the offending laws which he or she supported: ( Only 1 candidate opposes all of these bills. His name is not listed here. ) * Senator Ron Wyden (D, OR) killed an earlier incarnation of PIP in 2010, has put a hold on the current incarnation of the bill in late 2011, and has vowed to filibuster the bill if it reaches the Senate floor in 2012. Fortunately, Senator Wyden does not face re-election until 2016, so he can safely continue to fight for the rights of US citizens for another full presidential term. Thanks to his efforts in this matter, PIP likely will not pass, and Senator Wyden himself may be forgiven for supporting the 2011 Patriot Act extension. ** All legislators/aspiring executives are being given a free pass for voting for the initial Patriot Act. Those listed include only those who have supported its continued renewal. *** If both the Democratic and Republican presidential nominees in the November 2012 election are supporters of NDAA, then a third-party candidate must be chosen instead. DO NOT simply refuse to vote; abstaining will not count for anything. Source for Congressional voting records: GovTrack.us (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 24th, 2011
12:00 am	Levy to Beaver WARNING: This analysis will contain spoilers. They will be shrunk & marked in red for easy avoidance. If you use red as your default browser font, something is wrong with you. I saw Real Steel a couple weeks ago. It was amazingly good. I wasn't too surprised by that; the film had gotten positive reviews & word-of-mouth, but moreso than that, I recognized the directorial hand of Shawn Levy behind this movie. Levy is a hired gun, a director who gets attached to scripts, rather than an auteur, a director who chooses/creates his own stories. That trait alone loses him the respect of a lot of cinephiles & people who mistakenly believe that the studio system has never done anything right.   He also has a long history of children's- and family-fare, including many years directing for Nickelodeon & Disney Channel. That résumé loses him the respect of many more filmgoers, who mistakenly believe that kids' projects & television never have and/or don't deserve the quality of more mature & theatrical works. Levy is also responsible for a lot of darn good movies. Real Steel is fantastic, easily the best Rocky movie since Rocky II. (I'm only half-joking; the robot Atom is underpowered & survives largely through intense resilience & smart defense, just like Rocky Balboa.) Night at the Museum & its sequel are surprisingly creative adventures. The totally underseen Date Night was extremely intricate. And to this day, I still love & rewatch the first DVD I ever owned, Levy's feature debut, Big Fat Liar. I think it's because he does everything wrong.  Real Steel was marketed as a family film, but it's over 2 hours, & the lead characters cuss so much that it's rated PG-13.  It's a family film, but the protagonist is a deadbeat dad who lives with a woman he has CLEARLY slept with before (& probably will again) & sells his custody claim to pay off gambling debts; even after he learns his lesson & takes action to win his son's respect back, he still doesn't magically get custody back.  It's a family film, but the child lead gets beaten & robbed by thugs as "revenge" for a situation he had no knowledge of or involvement with, & the attacker never gets any comeuppance other than monetary loss.  It's a family film, but in the end, the good guys lose (another parallel to the first Rocky) - if only by technicality.  It's a family film, but the child lead is encouraged to break laws by his father for which neither of them ever apologize, make amends, or face consequences.  Levy breaks the rules of what can happen in a movie that kids are meant to enjoy, & he makes it work for him. I think it's also because he has these common stylistic traits in his films that many mercenary directors don't.  Max Kenton's presentation in Real Steel strongly reminds me of Jason Shepherd in Big Fat Liar; both have the same manipulative attitudes towards their authority figures & "screw you" attitudes for their much-plotted-against arrogant adult adversaries.  Similarly, Big Far Liar has unusual madcap twists on car chases (one part done with no actual pursuit, & another part done on golf carts through an active film lot) which are then echoed in Date Night (half the chase is done in reverse, with the two cars stuck together).  Then Real Steel also shares thematic attributes with Night at the Museum, the appreciation of the value of history (human boxing styles in the former, the entire museum in the latter), the encouragement of diverse thinking (that lesson isn't in BFL because both Shepherd & Wolf are liars, inherently diverse thinkers), & the humanization of normally-lifeless objects (via Zeus's automation & Atom's shadowboxing, and via the magical tablet).  Levy is a hired gun, but he brings the connectivity of an auteur to his works. Even when he makes bad films, like Cheaper by the Dozen or Just Married, there are still those clever moments that stand out, that make you think, "Man, they tried to make a good movie here; the original material was just not enough to work with."  (I haven't seen his Pink Panther, so I'll not comment on it; however, most of the press I read said Steve Martin was mostly to blame for the direction of that remake.)  And he had the good sense not to put his name on the byline of Cheaper by the Dozen 2 or Pink Panther 2, so clearly he learns from his mistakes, while jumping on opportunities to expand on his successes, as in Night at the Museum 2 & his plans to eventually helm Real Steel 2. Shawn Levy is rapidly becoming one of my favorite modern directors. Now you know why. Current Mood: impressed (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 28th, 2011
1:51 pm	Facing Fear Like a Boss I love roller coasters. I remember my first time on each coaster at Six Flags St. Louis (except Mr. Freeze, which I still refuse to ride to this day). I recall the excitement...& the terror.  To an acrophobe, there's little worse than a the long, seemingly-free fall at the beginning of every roller coaster, & as I worked my way up the difficulty ladder at Six Flags (Mine Train to Screaming Eagle to Ninja to Batman to The Boss), I felt that impending doom at the start of each new-to-me ride.  Even with the full knowledge that I was probably gonna love every second on those trains (which I did), I still pulled out of those five loading stations with my stomach in my throat at least once each. Outside of the theme parks, life still has "roller-coaster fears."  Things happen that you KNOW full well should turn out awesomely, but taking that first step is still a doozy.  Asking people out.  Interviewing/auditioning for jobs.  Having children.  You may be fully aware that as long as things start off okay, they'll end up even better, yet still you're scared to start.  It's not just fear of rejection or failure on that very beginning (your coaster train probably isn't gonna jump the track); it's fear of the beginning itself, fear of rocketing down that first drop after the chain lift.   And that's okay.  It's okay to be scared, as long as you don't let the fear paralyze you.  All of the best parts of life start off with something utterly petrifying.  Sit down & put your safety harness on; after the big drop passes, you'll be so caught up in the fun part of the ride that you'll be able to put your fear past as well.  Call the girl/boy/manager/director/pediatrician, & get down to business.  Once the scary start is over, the rest of the journey is worth it. Current Mood: anxious (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 26th, 2011
5:39 pm	Monkee-written songs. People have asked, & it's hard to remember off the top of my head every time they ask, so here's the compendium of Monkees songs (possibly missing a few rarities) which were written or co-written by the Monkees themselves. * Indicates songs I don't have in any form. Michael Nesmith from The Monkees ('66): "Papa Gene's Blues" "Sweet Young Thing" (co-wrote with Gerry Goffin & Carole King) from More of the Monkees ('67): "Mary, Mary" (sung by Micky) "The Kind of Girl I Could Love" (co-wrote with Roger Atkins) from Headquarters ('67): "You Told Me" "You Just May Be the One" "Sunny Girlfriend" from Pisces, Aquarius, Capricorn, & Jones, Ltd. ('67): "Daily Nightly" (sung by Micky) "Don't Call on Me" from The Birds, the Bees, & the Monkees ('68): "Auntie's Municipal Court" (sung by Micky, co-wrote with Keith Allison) "Tapioca Tundra" "Writing Wrongs" "Magnolia Simms" from Head ('68): "Circle Sky" from Instant Replay ('69): "Don't Wait for Me" "While I Cry" from The Monkees Present ('69): "Good Clean Fun" "Never Tell a Woman Yes" "Listen to the Band" "Oklahoma Backroom Dancer" from Justus ('96): "Circle Sky" (new version) "Admiral Mike" (sung by Micky) Other: "The Girl I Knew Somewhere" (single only) "Nine Times Blue" (live performance only, unreleased as a Monkee song) "All the King's Horses" (TV episode only) "Naked Persimmon" (TV special only) "Some of Shelley's Blues" (unreleased as a Monkee song) "Propinquity (I've Just Begun to Care)" (unreleased as a Monkee song) "The Crippled Lion" (unreleased as a Monkee song) "Calico Girlfriend Samba" (unreleased as a Monkee song) "Carlisle Wheeling" aka "Conversations" (unreleased as a Monkee song) "Little Red Rider" (unreleased as a Monkee song) "Hollywood" (unreleased as a Monkee song) "Don't Cry Now" (unrecorded as a Monkee song) "St. Matthew" (unreleased) "My Share of the Sidewalk" (unreleased)* "Michigan Blackhawk" (unfinished)* Micky Dolenz "Randy Scouse Git" (aka "Alternate Title" from Headquarters) "Just a Game" (from Instant Replay) "Shorty Blackwell" (from Instant Replay) "Little Girl" (from The Monkees Present) "Bye Bye Baby Bye Bye" (from The Monkees Present, co-wrote with Ric Klein) "Mommy and Daddy" (from The Monkees Present) "Midnight Train" (from Changes ['70]) "Never Enough" (from Justus) "Unlucky Stars" (from Justus) "Dyin' of a Broken Heart" (from Justus) "Regional Girl" (from Justus) "It's My Life" (from Justus) "Rosemarie" (unreleased) "She'll Be There" (unreleased, co-wrote with his sister Coco)* "We'll Be Back in a Minute" (unreleased, TV only?)* Peter Tork "For Pete's Sake" (from Headquarters, co-wrote with Joseph Richards, titled by Mike, sung by Micky) "Peter Percival Patterson's Pet Pig Porky" (from PAC&J, Ltd., credited to Peter, actually public domain) "Can You Dig It" (from Head) "Long Title: Do I Have to Do This All Over Again?" (from Head) "Gettin' In" (from Pool It ['87]) "Run Away from Life" (from Justus, sung by Davy) "I Believe You" (from Justus) "MGBGT" (live only, unreleased as a Monkee song)* "Lady's Baby" (unreleased) "Tear the Top Right Off My Head" (unreleased)* "Merry Go Round" (unreleased, co-wrote with Diane Hilderbrand)* Davy Jones "Hard to Believe" (from PAC&J, Ltd., co-wrote with Kim Capli, Eddie Brick, & Charlie Rockett) "Dream World" (from BB&M, co-wrote with Steve Pitts) "The Poster" (from BB&M, co-wrote with Steve Pitts) "You and I" (from Instant Replay, co-wrote with Bill Chadwick) "If I Knew" (from The Monkees Present, co-wrote with Bill Chadwick) "I'll Love You Forever"  (from Pool It) "Oh, What a Night" (from Justus) "It's Not Too Late" (from Justus) "Ceiling in My Room" (unreleased, co-wrote with Don DeMieri & Robert Dick) "Changes" (unreleased, co-wrote with Steve Pitts) "I'm Gonna Try" (unreleased, co-wrote with Steve Pitts) "If You Have the Time" (unreleased, co-wrote with Steve Pitts)* "Party"  (unreleased, co-wrote with Steve Pitts)* "War Games" (unreleased, co-wrote with Steve Pitts)* "Time and Time Again" (unreleased, co-wrote with Bill Chadwick) "Smile" (unreleased) Monkee collaborations: "Band 6" (all 4 Monkees, instrumental, from Headquarters) "Zilch" (all 4 Monkees, all 4 vocals, from Headquarters) "No Time" (Micky & Mike [credited to Hank Cicalo], sung by Micky, from Headquarters) "Goin' Down" (all 4 Monkees, co-wrote with Diane Hilderbrand, sung by Micky, single only) "You & I" (Micky & Davy, sung by Davy, from Justus) Relative contributions: "Pillow Time" (from The Monkees Present) by Janelle Scott [Micky's mother] & Matt Willis "Alvin" (unreleased) by Nicholas Thorkelson [Peter's brother] Current Mood: rushed (Comment on this)
Friday, July 8th, 2011
4:34 am	El Nombre de Jota (or, Good Clean Fun)  9/28/05: “Christians Don’t Like Robertson Either” becomes “Christians Not Happy with Partisanship” or something like that (that issue’s archive is currently offline). I barely notice because the edited title is similar, I hadn’t spent much time on it in the first place, & the new title still reflects my content & tone. I have something of an obsession with nomenclature. I refuse, for example, to go by "Joe"; when a situation is "too formal for 'Joey'" (a concept I question as often as possible), I much prefer my full name, "Joseph", over the bland "Joe."  I love when fictional proper nouns (names, titles, places, et cet) have clever meanings, whether blatant or subtle, so long as the effort & the execution are there. 11/23/05: “Working Our Way Toward Our Union Mended” becomes “Everybody Needs to Get Over Themselves.” This time, I notice. My original title was an Alanis Morissette lyric which tied into the theme of the column & had a call-back at the end. The edited title sounds like a 15-year-old valley girl whining & makes the end of the column completely nonsensical. Pokémon gives some great examples. “Pikachu” has 3 meanings: “Pikapika” in Japanese is onomatopoeia for electric sparks, “Pika” in English is a species of rodent, & “chu” is Japanese onomatopoeia for a mouse’s squeak. “Squirtle” is the same, with the portmanteau of “squirt” & “turtle” being obvious, but take a peek at the creature’s tail, & you’ll see that its name sounding like “squirrel” is no accident either. Contrast those with the same generation’s lame efforts “Seel” & “Dewgong”, or the later pathetic “Buneary.” 9/20/06: “World Class” becomes “Zidane Headbutt Angers a True Soccer Fan”. The edited title maintains my sarcastic tone, but without the intended insult to Zidane, not to mention that it violates one of the key principles of print journalism: Brevity. Or look at last fall’s sleeper hit comedy Easy A. That title is another triple-layered pun: (1) “Easy A”, of course, is student slang for a low-effort class or assignment. (2) Since the movie is about a girl faking promiscuity, the colloquial descriptor “easy” for a loose woman—& the then-implication that said looseness can get one good grades—apply. (3) In reference to the film’s source material, The Scarlet Letter, & both stories’ focus on how rumors spread, we see that it sure was easy for Olive to falsely earn her adulteress’s A. Even the protagonist’s name is chosen carefully; Olive herself points out that her moniker anagrams into “I love,” but including her surname, “Penderghast,” makes the whole thing “I love pretend shag.” You may pause to pick up your jaw from the floor. 10/24/06: “Propinquity Perquisites” becomes “Milestone birthday has more significance than just boozing.” Once again, brevity is thrown out the window, as is another lyrical allusion, this one to a Michael Nesmith song. I try to be similarly meticulous when I choose character names or titles, even when I don’t pile on quite that much subtext. Literary, cinematic, personal, & lyrical references abound in the casts of my scripts, as most characters’ names in some way reflect their inspirations, circumstances, or some kind of pun. My titles, too, go under intense scrutiny before they’re finalized to make sure they’re meaningful & interesting, whether it’s for an essay, a song, a poem, a script, a forum thread, or even my old columns for The Monitor. Hence, it bothered me when the editors thereof decided to change my column titles to something I considered far inferior, almost as much as in more recent years where several of my submissions went unpublished altogether. 7/8/11: This post’s subtitle is “Good Clean Fun,” the title I would have submitted if I’d had to write this piece for The Monitor itself, which would have happened if anymore of my titles had been so poorly changed. The title is another reference to Mike Nesmith of the Monkees, who had a habit of naming songs strangely, but memorably. Amongst his compositions for the Monkees were “Papa Gene’s Blues”, “Band 6”, “Nine Times Blue”, “Daily Nightly”, “Auntie’s Municipal Court”, “Tapioca Tundra”, “Writing Wrongs”, “Naked Persimmon”, “Some of Shelley’s Blues”, “Propinquity”, “The Crippled Lion”, “Carlisle Wheeling”, “St. Matthew”, & “Admiral Mike”, none of which had their titles in the lyrics, nor did they even explicitly explain their titles at any point. (The other Monkees got in on the fun; “Band 6” was co-written by the 4 of them together, Peter let Mike name his first composition “For Pete’s Sake”, & Micky named his own first song “Randy Scouse Git”—or as it was known across the pond, “Alternate Title”, which definitely wouldn’t be in the lyrics.) At one point, Colgems Records’ music supervisor Lester Sill told Nesmith to knock it off & write songs that were just “good clean fun.” So Mike took up that task…by titling a song “Good Clean Fun” & not including that phrase anywhere in the lyrics. The morals of the story are as follows: Names are important. Nez is awesome. Current Mood: sore (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 3rd, 2011
4:25 am	June Was Amazing.  And here's why... June 3rd: Weird Al @ the Family Arena  I last saw Al live in 1999 while he was Touring with Scissors. He's had THREE new albums since then, & the Family Arena has stadium seating, rather than the conference-room seating we had to deal with in the Khorassan Ballroom 12 years ago.  Al is now 51 years old, & he still has every bit of the limberity, energy, & wit that he's had since his early career.  Clicky for set list. June 4th: Hagstrom-Schmidt wedding @ Quincy, IL I hadn't seen Nicole & Scott in person in about 2 years, so I was really excited to get an invite to their nuptials.  The ceremony was delightful, & the reception afterwards was a total blast, with so much geek-dancing & goofy shenanigans that I didn't want to leave.  The only downside to going here was having to miss Blaine & Aimee's wedding in Iowa (which started, I kid you not, at the exact same time).  June 8th: SSP Picnic Two years ago, I had to miss the parish picnic for the first time since age 4 because I was in Kirksville at the time. Not my favorite June, that. This year, though, I got to see Bobby, I got to hang with Zecharias, I got to inspire a group singalong of "American Pie" at the main raffle booth, I picked up a bunch of free yearbooks, I got to talk to some other cool people & avoid not-as-cool people, & I made some money too (I had two tutoring sessions that day as well). June 15th: Whitaker Music Festival @ MOBot Garden  Due to my tutoring commitments, this may be the only week of the festival I'll go to, so I'm glad it was a good one. Many thanks to Denise Chappell for inviting me to tag along, & for getting to hang out with her posse afterwards & make a couple new friends. Also glad I bumped into Rosie Melton on the way in; she's always a pleasant surprise. :) June 22nd: I won my appeal.  After three freaking months, on my last-chance saving throw for finishing my master's degree, I finally got word back that I would be allowed to do so. They aren't gonna change the bum grade, but I don't care, because outside of doctoral programs, nobody ever looks at your master's GPA. Now I get to finish the stupid portfolio, get my MAE, & get my full teaching certification.   June 24th: Kerro & I visit Marine Week downtown. Sometimes it's the little things. This was nothing fancy or long-awaited, just my brother & I looking at some tanks & mortars & stuff down by the Soldier's Memorial, but it was still cool.   June 24th: Lynyrd Skynyrd @ the Family Arena  Two opening acts, one of which was an ex-NFL player who totally sucked, but the other of which was a really good psychedelic southern band which made a perfect set-up for the headliners. Totally rockin' concert, even though I needed earplugs just so I was able to hear all the instruments (instead of just the lead guitar & drums).   JUNE 30th: THE MONKEES @ STAR PLAZA THEATER I got to start off the month by seeing my 2nd-favorite musician, & just a week prior I beat a power-mad professor. How could the month possibly end on a higher note? WITH MY FAVORITE BAND EVER DOING AN UTTERLY KILLER SHOW. Mankus, thanks for coming along. Everybody else, clicky for the full rundown of awesomeitude.   Considering my other fun trips in the past 12 months & all the writing I've gotten done (nearly three stage scripts and something like two DOZEN songs), it's safe to say that the Year of the Hawk has been a success...so I'm gonna extend it for another year. (Especially since it's too late to get hired as a teacher for 2011-2012 anyway.)  This year, I'm gonna put some more oomphasis on trying to get something performed or even published.  Here's to hoping!  :)  In the meantime, happy ID4, everypeoples!  Enjoy your explosions! Current Mood: hot (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, April 18th, 2011
4:45 am	30 Day Song Challenge Chain Letter Dealy  The twist: I'M DOING THE WHOLE MONTH AT ONCE!?!?!!!!!!1111oneonetwo ( 'Cause that's just how I roll. ) Current Mood: sleepy (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 2nd, 2011
8:13 pm	HvZ Invitational  Personal Goals Checklist: 1) Stun a zombie: Check. (First firefight @ Barnett) 2) Help squad complete first mission: Check. (Birds of Prey had all 4 boxes & were en route to checkpoint when I died.) 3) Die by being outrun, not outsmarted: Check. (I knew a zombie was coming; I just couldn't stun him in time.) 4) Make a critical mission action: Check. (Formed & led assassination squad to Kirk Mem, then beat remaining humans to Grim.) 5) Kill a human: Miss. (Came close a couple times, though.) Aside from some communication breakdowns in missions 3 & 4, this was awesome. I hope I can do it again next year. Current Mood: geeky (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 22nd, 2011
12:30 am	The Game of Life is Hard to Play  I have a hate-hate relationship with suicide. --> On the one hand, I hate the idea of giving up just because something is hard. I hate to concede. I don't mind losing, I don't mind getting beat, but quitting is just not something I can do. I had a rough childhood. Not life-threateningly rough, I wasn't abused by adults or shot at or shot up or anything--in fact, those kids usually don't kill themselves because they're trying their hardest to stay alive anyway--but it was still rough. I was a bully magnet. For years, I dreaded going to school, not because I disliked class, but because I LIKED class, & the other kids knew I liked class, & some of them despised me for it. Because my folks raised me on classic rock & Groucho Marx & PBS & Nickelodeon, while the others were being raised on top-40 & The Simpsons & MTV & HBO, so my sense of humor didn't make any sense to them, & some of them thought violence was the proper response to jokes they didn't get. And because I was the fat kid who ran weird (The fat was my fault. The gait, however, was the after-effect of a broken leg at age 2.). That never helps. I thought & behaved differently than they did, so they abused me. (I said I was never abused by adults. Kids, on the other hand...) At one point--& you really have to appreciate how young I was when this happened, no more than 10 or 11--I thought about what would happen if I killed myself. I then began crying. The thought that I would go that far made me very sad & very angry, & since then I vowed that I would never take that way out. No matter how bad life got, no matter what torments they would come up with, I would persevere. I would find a way to beat them. It was easy; all I had to do to win was survive. Because their goal was to make me suffer constantly, every success in my life was a victory. And eventually, they grew up. (Most of them, at least.) They stopped. (Again, most of them.) I grew up, too, maybe a bit worse for the wear, but strong. --> On the other hand, I hate the thought of what happens to the others, to those left behind. Mothers who lose their children for any reason tend not to take it well. We aren't meant to off ourselves; it hurts whole communities. I know people who have attempted suicide. They were in similar boats to me. They were scared & confused & angry & sad. They wanted the suffering to end, whether in death or in consolation. They were bully magnets. They were different. No one I know has ever successfully gone through with it. (No details. They might read this.) Some were simply unsuccessful. Some were stopped before they could finish the job. Some changed their minds. Thankfully, all of them found help. I'm proud of each of them for what they've done with their lives afterwards. At least one of them, I can't imagine growing up without anymore--in either sense of "growing up." At least one of them is a personal hero of mine. I brought this up with inspiration: I've engaged in arguments in the past with people who believed there's nothing wrong with suicide. Ever. It took hours of shouting just to bring them around to the concept of making brash decisions based on minor provocation, much less the ideas of strength through perseverance & collateral damage. Just yesterday, a buddy of mine told a story about somebody he grew up with, one of the greatest friends he'd ever had, who recently killed himself. In the past 15 years--yes, 15--I've watched friends & relatives die prematurely from medical problems, car accidents, you name it. It wasn't even any of their faults, & I was still fuming over each ordeal, not to mention everyone else's reactions. I can just imagine how much worse I would be & everyone else would be if they'd done it to themselves. Last year, one of my closest friends told me about a dream she had in which I killed myself. The first thing she said when she saw me was "Can I have a hug?", which was also the first thing I said after she explained what the hug was all about. I finally calmed the both of us by explaining that my only possible circumstance for self-termination is if it's the only (& I mean ONLY) possible way to save at least 2 other lives. Now I'm going to watch Craig Ferguson to cheer myself back up after writing this. After all, tomorrow's just a future yesterday. And you can do the same thing if you please. Current Mood: alive (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 2nd, 2011
2:58 am	Let me make this perfectly clear... Last week I saw a news story about a man who was suspended from his position as a charity volunteer because he posted a Facebook status saying "YOU CAN'T GO AROUND SHOOTING PEOPLE WHO YOU DISAGREE WITH" after the Giffords shooting in Arizona.  I hadn't been so angry with a news story since 2008, when I read about a plan to sew GPS tracking ships into UK school uniforms.   This was absurd.  This was asinine.  This was insulting.  This was idiotic.  This happened.  So now I want to clarify a few things...   I do not add people on Facebook who I have not met in person at least once & liked (even the musicians I have on there I've shaken hands & conversed with before). I do not add people on Facebook who are currently in a position of authority over me (no employers or current teachers). My privacy settings are set so total strangers can only see a few things: my name, job, age, sex, & favorite artistic works. My Wall (including statuses), Photos, Quotes, Contact Info, & About Me are not visible to strangers. Yet, I have recently been informed that somehow employers can still see our stuff, even if we've set it so they can't. That means one of three things: 1) They or somebody they've hired is hacking into Facebook's servers, which is illegal. 2) Somebody on our Friends list is giving them this information, which is the mark of a total douchebag. 3) Somebody who works for Facebook is giving them this information without user consent, which is both illegal AND douchey. In short, if employers are seeing my friends-only stuff, somebody (who isn't me) is being criminal and/or unethical. In my case it shouldn't matter too much, since I tend to shy away from having political or incriminating statuses (statii?) & my life actually IS pretty darn tame & employer-friendly. The only potentially controversial opinion they'll come across is my declaration that  Facebook-stalking your job applicants is immature & unprofessional.  And I stand by that opinion. I once quit a job that wanted me to sell-out my friends' contact info & I made sure they destroyed any info they'd somehow gotten prior to that point.  It had the potential to pay some very lucrative sums of money which would be all kinds of help with my student debt right now, but I'd rather be a poor person who can sleep at night than a rich traitor.  And yes, anyone who shows employers their friends' profiles without permission is an effing traitor.   You know what? I'm even gonna recopy the excerpt from my profile right here & now, just in the interest of full transparency: "I am overqualified & unwilling to be employed by anyone who thinks that Facebook is a proper source for researching job applicants. I'll start being professional in the workplace when you start being casual out of it." If this causes anyone to defriend me, then I'm sorry to hear that you are placing your fear of reprimand above our friendship. At least have the courage to tell me you're going, though, so I can say goodbye. If this causes me to miss a job opportunity, I don't freaking care; I'll just go work somewhere with competent management. At least have the courtesy to tell me you did this, though, so I can tell my friends what kind of employer you are. Do you disagree? Please, tell me so. I like discourse with people who disagree with me. It's intellectually stimulating, so long as both sides are being civil. (And while we're engaged in discussion, I will be civil as long as you are. Eagle's honor.) Any bleeping questions? Current Mood: angry (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, January 16th, 2011
3:40 am	Why I Don't Like Bars.  Bars. I don't like them. Traditionally, I only go to bars for specific purposes: Concerts, poetry slams, friends' parties, a chance to further my acting career, what have you. Over the past month, I've found myself in a handful of bars on a handful of occasions for a handful of reasons.  I haven't regretted any of the visits, but once my main purpose for being there ended, I wanted out right away.  Here's why... 1) I don't drink.  Getting into "Why I Don't Drink" is another post altogether, but for now, let's just leave it at the fact that the primary function of a bar is to serve alcohol, a service in which I do not partake.  At the most recent bar trip, my friend (we'll use the code name "K") bought me a shot of Jaeger on the grounds that it was "the smoothest of all shots" or something like that.  It was rather sweet, which I liked, but then the bitterness & burningness kicked in, & I cringed in a way that K said she usually sees when people drink freakin' tequila.  Besides my aversion to the taste of alcohol, I'm often my own ride home, so it's not like I'd be able to drink a lot anyway. 2) I hate the smell of cigarette smoke.  "But Joey," hypothetical-nonsmoker-barfly-reader is thinking, "due to recent laws, any bars in the StL area which make more than 25% of their profits on non-alcoholic foodstuffs are required to be smoke-free." Well, hypo-alcy-in-denial-reader, there are a couple problems with your argument: (A) that doesn't address the bars which DON'T make 25% on sober food, and (B) I don't think bars should have smoking bans anyway!  Yeah, you heard me right.  For the vast majority of patrons, the entire purpose of going to the bar is to do things that are unhealthy: Drink, smoke, gamble, hook up with strangers, et cet.  Why not just leave that package of vice intact?  At least that way, people passing by the place don't have to walk through the smoke haze outside. 3) They're stinkin' loud.  I'm notoriously soft-spoken most of the time. Whenever I'm at a bar with friends, I can't communicate over the din without shouting, which ravages my throat, leaving me in pain after even just half an hour of casual conversation.  On the flip side of that, I also have very strong, sensitive ears, & the noise makes them start throbbing after a while, too.  Especially when I'm there for concerts, since it seems nobody knows how to do sound checks at those places. 4) The horde. On the occasions that visit taverns, they're crowded.  Even if it's mid-week, since I'm only there for a special event anyway, it's cram-jam-slam-packed.  I can't make it to the barkeep to place my order without waiting in a 20-deep line full of people already too drunk to remember their own orders.  I can't get through to my posse's table or the bathroom without solving a Gordian Knot of people & chairs.  I sometimes can't even get out the door without sliding through a throng of bacchanalian dancers pressed together like sardines.  Also, I overheat very quickly when squashed into a large crowd. 5) Short on coin. I don't have a lot of money, & everything in a bar is expensive. The games are scams, the food is overpriced, the hard drinks are alcohol-priced, & the soft-drinks are ALSO alcohol-priced for some reason. (K-ville bars actually get some credit here; they give cheap or free sodas after the watershed to help promote designated driving. Kudos are in order. StL bars, however...) And don't even get me started on covers! 6) Dancing & I don't mix. Neither do dance mixes. I don't dislike dancing. I just prefer to do it to different music than what's usually put on in a bar. Also, I'm an exceptionally bad dancer. Also also, while I don't mind accidentally making contact with other people, they often DO mind accidentally making contact with a large goofy-looking man.  ALSO also also, I overheat very quickly when squashed into a large crowd, making me tire out ridiculously quickly even if I did decide to dance a bit. Like I said, I don't regret my recent trips, because the shows/friends/filmings were fun, but I can't do it on a regular basis. And I especially can't do it if there's gonna be too much dancing. Current Mood: creative (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 2nd, 2010
3:31 am	The Triforce Prayer  A variant on the Serenity Prayer: Lord, grant me the Courage to accept the things I cannot change, Power to change the things I can, And Wisdom to know the difference. Try it out. Current Mood: pensive (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, November 6th, 2010
10:37 pm	Extended Info  Because Facebook discontinued support for apps being visible in your profile in any way... Favorite Video Games: Super Smash Bros., Super Smash Bros. Melee, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem, Minesweeper, Tetris, Sonic the Hedgehog, Mother series, Super Mario Bros. Crossover Favorite Plays: The Good Doctor, A Midsummer Night's Dream, Avenue Q, Oedipus Rex, Total Nonsense, Waiting for Godot, Spamalot, Jesus Christ Superstar, The Bald Soprano, Anton Chekhov, Picasso at the Lapin Agile, Him Favorite Websites: The Legendary Lilipad, VGF, IMDb, Wikipedia, Facebook, Psycho-Jello, YouTube, Uncyclopedia, TV Tropes, SCP Foundation, Save Point Favorite Web Shows: Homestar Runner, Yugioh the Abridged Series, Laugh Out Loud TV, Everyday Achievements, Neurotically Yours, Mario Brothers, Potter Puppet Pals, New Kids on the Rock Favorite Comics: Calvin & Hobbes, MS Paint Adventures: Problem Sleuth, Pearls Before Swine, Darths & Droids, Doonesbury, Bloom County/Outland/Opus, Fireflower Favorite Holidays: Columbus Day, Christmas, Easter, Billie Languages Spoken: English, Spanish, Googlearian (both Googaya & Giberian), ASL (forgotten most of it) Instruments Played: Voice, Drums, Percussion, Jew's Harp, & I want to learn to play bass with a banjo. Current Mood: defiant (Comment on this)
Saturday, October 16th, 2010
8:49 pm	Villainy & Character Development  Daniel Handler (Lemony Snicket) once said, "I'm at a loss for how to write a villain who doesn't do villainous things."  He said this in response to complaints from certain groups over the villain Count Olaf's actions in A Series of Unfortunate Events. I bring this up in response to recent controversy surrounding this trailer for next year's movie The Dilemma.  Certain groups are angry at Universal Pictures, director Ron Howard, writer Allen Loeb, & even actor Vince Vaughn over the first sentence of the trailer, in which Vaughn's character engages in a bit of slightly villainous behavior. So a fictional character used the word "gay" as a slur; now ask yourself a few questions:  Is this character a role model?  Are we supposed to look at him for guidance?  Is he meant as a demonstration of appropriate behavior? Based on what we've seen so far, the answer to all of those questions is a resounding NO.  We're introduced to this guy while he's giving a sleazy sales pitch to a corporate boardroom, verbally seducing them.  He is a "confirmed bachelor" who uses his best friend's happy marriage as a tool to help himself score one-night stands.  In short, he's a JERK. He's SUPPOSED to do things that we don't like! That's what Handler was talking about: How the hell are we supposed to have conflict--the element upon which all stories are based--if the allegedly disagreeable characters never do or say anything disagreeable!?  The movie is about this guy learning to do the right thing; how is he going to learn anything if he doesn't start off by doing wrong things? P.S. Why are people attacking Vince Vaughn for this?  He did not write the script.  He is not directing the movie.  He is "producing" the movie, but that could just mean he threw some money at it to make a better return for himself.  He's an actor saying his lines.  That's his job.  We don't attack actors in The Merchant of Venice for saying anti-Semitic things; that's just what's in the script! [EDIT 10/22/10: Universal Pictures has pulled all instances of the original trailer from YouTube. The video link above has been amended to a news story regarding the incident, which still features the relevant excerpt of the original trailer.] [RE-EDIT 11/3/10: The news story mentioned in the previous edit has also been pulled from YouTube by Universal.  Eventually somebody will sneak a copy back up without getting caught, I'm sure.  But in the meantime, I've edited the link to go to another news show which simply discusses the line without an excerpt.  Since they don't use any copyrighted material, Universal will have no just cause to pull that video.] Current Mood: discontent (Comment on this)
Monday, September 27th, 2010
5:33 am	What a Crock of Asterisks   People get on my case sometimes about my language.  Mostly my dad.  He thinks some of the words I use are inappropriate, words like "heck" or "freaking"...or "bleep."  Yes, that's right; I get ragged on for NOT cussing. My decision not to use certain words actually isn't a moral stand at all (for reasons I'll explain later), but rather an aesthetic & social stand.  When you take a minute to think it through, our society's "bad words" break down into 4 categories, as follows:  1) Religious profanities (d***, abuse of the Lord's name,...) 2) Vulgar terms for otherwise harmless physical objects/actions (f***, s***, c*** [both words],...) 3) Slurs (n*****, f*****,...) 4) Words that actually have real, innocuous definitions, but that's not how people use them (b****, b******, hell,...) ...And then there's "meekrob" & "Streisand." And "ni." Categories 2 & 3 are particularly interesting, since it's never actually the meaning of the word that's the problem, but the specific string of letters itself. Other, less vulgar--& especially clinical--terms for the same things (sex, feces, penis/vagina, African-American, homosexual,...) are almost always acceptable. Category 4 is the exact opposite, as it's ONLY the meanings of the word that are the problem.  When those strings of letters are used for their alternate denotations, it's no-harm-no-foul.  And Category 1....is the only of the four categories where morals could even be a factor. It is not a sin to drop f-bombs.  I mean that quite literally.  "Swearing" is considered a breach of the 2nd Commandment (under Catholic categorization), "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain."  Notice how ONLY the words in Category 1 violate that rule*.  There is no moral reason not to use the other 3 categories' words, only societal reasons.   Category 3 is, understandably, a sensitive subject, since it contains words which were created with the express purpose of demeaning large groups of people en masse.   Categories 2 & 4, however, are not.  Those "bad words" are considered "bad" solely because a long time ago, some stuffy nobles said they were.  In fact, until the late 19th century, Category 4 wasn't even considered offensive, and Category 2--while still considered vulgar--was not a big deal in most walks of life.  It wasn't until the Victorian Era that the f-word became "the foulest of the foul words" over the entries in Category 1. I don't use these words when I speak or when I write.  This is a personal choice, not a moral judgement.  I don't care if you use them.  I don't get offended if you use them (not even "dago wop"; I'm honestly just impressed at people who even KNOW those words).  I hope that your respect my decision not to use them.  If the world ever goozacking develops a more mature attitude about these words, I may someday start using them.  I hope you respect that decision as well. Also, I would rather hear BLEEP effects when movies are edited for TV than the meekrobin' stupid substitute dub words they come up with.  "I've had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday-to-Friday plane"?  "Yippee-ki-yay, Mister Falcon"?  BLEEP that noise. *It's worth noting, though, that it's actually not possible to take the Lord's name in vain, 'cause we don't know His name.  "Lord" is a title, "God" is a job description, & "YHWH" doesn't have any stinkin' vowels in it, so we can only guess how to pronounce it. Current Mood: sleepy (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 14th, 2010
1:37 am	A Little Birdie (& some freakish whale) Told Me  I have never used, do not use, & will never use Twitter.   Considering how I don't even like changing my Facebook status more than a couple times a week, I don't really have a use for Twitter.  I don't need another social media account to maintain.  I don't care whether the big orange Wind Fish wannabe says the internets are full.  I don't care about the little blue jays chirping...heck, I'm a Cardinals fan; I don't care about blue jays PERIOD.  But today's rant isn't about me.  It's about Amanda Bynes. My appreciation of Amanda Bynes is not a recent development, nor should it really be shocking news to most people.  I've been a fan of the actress for a very long time, & as such, I've seen the overwhelming majority of her interviews over the past decade.  Whenever an interviewer has brought up the internet, she's had the same answer: She always said she didn't care at all about doing things online, maintaining a website, any of that.  She only keeps http://www.amandabynes.com (which has not updated in probably 5 years) registered to keep impostors from taking the domain & pretending to be her.  Those are not the words of a woman who is going to use flipping TWITTER to make a major career announcement. Twitter was important once. Once. By "once" I don't mean "once upon a time", but rather "on one specific occasion." That occasion was during last year's disputed elections in Iran. The Iranian government was censoring the standard news outlets (even foreign journalists) & screening emails, Facebooks, Myspaces, YouTubes,...the BBC...you name it. Everything BUT the cultural wasteland of Twitter. So that's what the angry citizens used to get the word out about what was going on in that mess. That was the one time Twitter ever served a useful purpose that could not have been fulfilled by another, better, site. That was the only time Twitter was ever a valid news source; unfortunately, real journalists have mistakenly continued using it as a news source ever since. As many of you know, my sister enjoys teasing me about almost everything I like that she doesn't also like.  About a dozen weeks ago, I get an email from said sister about how Amanda had announced her retirement over Twitter, complete with a link to a news site which was using Twitter as a source.  So I went & looked up her tweety account to make sure people weren't just making crud up, as they are sometimes apt to do.  Sure enough, there it was, plain as day...or rather plain as night.  The timestamp on the post was roughly 4:30 AM on a Saturday night/Sunday morning. Let me inform you good people of something; I sometimes make Facebook comments very late at night.  They are often cryptic & confusing to the people I send them to, because after a certain degree of fatigue sets in, I lose the ability to filter out things that I may think are funny but I shouldn't expect anyone else to think are funny.  In other words, when it gets near 4:30 in the morning, especially on a weekend where I may've just been involved in several hours of craziness with friends, I will sometimes say and/or type things that absolutely should not be taken seriously.  AND I DON'T EVEN DRINK! But again, this rant is not about me.  It's about Amanda Bynes. Bynesy does drink.  Now pay close attention to this next part:   Girl who doesn't like connecting the web with her career + early morning fatigue + weekend craziness + possible inebriation + her agent & manager repeatedly denied knowing anything about this alleged "retirement" = WHY THE BLOODY HELL WAS ANYONE TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY!? It was not a lot of surprise when, a few weeks later, Bynes again tweeted her "unretirement", & the normal media again overreacted.  Then a couple more weeks after that, people were again buzzing about her saying something along the lines of "well, I will act again someday, possibly soon, I guess for now I'm kinda retired", and that's when it all clicked in my head.  That's when it all made sense. Amanda Bynes had successfully trolled Twitter & the entertainment media at the same time. Go back & watch Big Fat Liar sometime.  Good movie.  Most of the funny things Kaylee does are ad-libs by Bynes. Go back & watch Sydney White sometime.  Boring movie.  If Sydney is doing anything funny at all, it's an ad-lib by Bynes. Go back & watch What I Like About You sometime, especially the season 1 gag reel.  Really gives you a taste of how many of Holly's laughs were ad-libs by Bynes. Go back & watch Hairspray sometime.  Good movie.  Anytime Penny's lame filler lines make you laugh, it's Bynes's delivery.  And according to the behind-the-scenes footage, the cast & crew were often kept entertained via ad-libs by Bynes! The girl has a legitimate knack for off-the-cuff, wry wit.  She doesn't like spending time online.  And her Twitter accounts have kept their followers utterly baffled for years.  The only way those 3 facts make sense together is if her tweets have all been a huge prank played on everyone out there who takes bleeping Twitter seriously.  Every reporter scouring that site, every tweenybopper posting what they had for breakfast, every technerd obsessing over trends, every tweety twit who doesn't get that people don't always mean the things they blurt out over an instantaneous communication...they all just got perfectly punk'd by a master comedienne.  And none of them realized it.  Her probably-drunken-late-night "retirement", "unretirement", & "kinda retirement" were merely the climax of the performance.  And now, the act complete, Amanda has deleted her accounts entirely.  It's time to move on to a new role. Amanda Bynes is a genius. Current Mood: good (1 Comment |Comment on this)